Posts Tagged ‘falling in love’
If you feel inspired to experience love more fully, here is an exercise. It’s inspired by numerous sources, including Buddhist and Sufi methods.
- Close your eyes. Take deep, belly breaths. Relax your body from head to toe.
- Visualize your heart as putty. As you breathe deeply into it, see it softening, and becoming more pliable, and even porous.
- Picture the part of you that is most vulnerable and tender. This may be your inner child, or even the part that gets angry and tries to protect you. Give it love. See an energy cloud around it – perhaps pink, or, another color that feels loving and supportive.
- Have compassion for this struggling part of you. Tell it that it doesn’t have to work so hard, and you’ll be there for it.
- While still breathing deeply and keeping an awareness of the above, open your eyes with a soft gaze. Notice an object near you. Be aware of the crafting of it that took place for it to exist, that someone spent such time creating. Or, notice a person near you – who has these similar raw places inside, perhaps like your own. Notice their tender beauty.
- Become aware of imperfect perfection all around you – and in you. Nothing needs changing.
Why do we not reside in love, permanently?
First of all, we think it’s about someone else. Who are they? Do we feel a connection? Is there a romantic involvement? Have we known them long enough? Do we feel safe enough to open up? When is the right time to open our heart?
Or, you might ask, when is it not the right time?
On an energetic level, love is simply the expression of the heart chakra opening. Some say that God is love – the devotional path of the bhakti yogi.
We may not like some people or feel a strong affinity with all. Some people do things that we label as bad. Yet, on an ultimate level, who is not deserving of love?
Moreover, is there a time when we do not want to feel love? And how can we experience it, regardless of who is around us?
Part 3: How to actively choose love – always.
So often we think of love in relation to the other person. How do we feel about them? How close are we? Do we feel safe?
Many years ago, when talking to a spiritual teacher of mine about relationships and love, he said, “If you fall in love, you’ll then fall out of love. But you can also choose to reside in love – for that to be a state of being.”
Intellectually, I understood. But it took a lot more time to truly grasp the ramifications, and to choose to step into it.
Everyone desires love. Could it be that love has nothing to do with the another person, and her or his actions and feelings?
Part 2: A new perspective about how love works.
Everyone wants to be in love. Well, except for the cynics… externally. (I still think they really want to find true love, perhaps more than anyone else, but have also been hurt more.) I’ve written before on the idea of “living in love” rather than just ‘falling’ in love with someone, and readers have requested practical suggestions. Here you go.
- Stop watching the news and tuning into negative information. It likely doesn’t improve your life in any way.
- Surround yourself with people you admire, and who appreciate you. And if you don’t have this in your life right now, find it. Use Meetup.com or other online resources to find where great people are!
- Make sure your paying work makes a positive contribution to the world. Even if it does, work can be… well, work. So remember who is benefiting through it, and keep your focus there.
- Have a daily gratitude practice. Write down what you’re thankful for (or at least make a mental list). 5 things, every day.
- Open your heart to others. Take risks by expressing yourself more vulnerably than usual.
Depending on your circumstances, you may find the above simple or rather complex. Schedule them – but be sure to do some right away, and bring into your life (the Law of Attraction) what you desire.
Another tip on how to truly living in a state of love:
Source your power from the heavens and the earth – not from other people, as was discussed here. That is, if you want to get approval from others, and rely upon them for validation, you’re then in a push-and-pull dynamic. Sometimes it may feel good, but it’s also fairly guaranteed to swing the other way. Instead, do a grounding exercise (a previous post). Once you realize you have a constant source of energy and support, you can let go of the need for others’ energy.
Now, don’t confuse this with a desire to “detach” from others. Being in relationship (be it romantic or platonic) is wonderful. But it’s important to know that the true source of love from something far greater than another person.
Everyone wants true love. True love – ah yes, the stuff of legends and Hollywood, deeply embedded in our psyches. The mythological measuring stick against which we compare our experiences. But how could mere mortals’ actions do anything but pale in comparison to True Love?
A spiritual teacher of mine, many years ago, listened patiently to my trials and travails of the heart. Finally, he calmly expressed: “If you fall in love, you’ll eventually fall out of love. Why not seek to exist in a state of love?”
In other words: we can cultivate a state of love by ourselves. To walk in love. To talk in love. To open our hearts to the world. Then, we’re always in love.
Action: Whether or not you’re in a relationship, focus on opening your heart – to the present moment, to others, and to your life. (Also, try the Heart Breathing Exercise – to be posted later today.)