Are you ready to be your real, authentic self? Want the shortest path to being authentic? It comes down to one simple thing:
Stop doing everything you’ve ever learned to do to be successful.
Woah!!! What?? Am I serious?
Pretty much. The dealio is that we’ve learned particular ways to act in the world – basically as survival mechanisms. And we think we must do them or we’ll die. (OK, that’s not totally true: much of the time they’re so deeply embedded that we don’t need to think about it at all. It just happens.)
But our true, authentic selves lay beyond these mechanisms. Which means that we have to de-program ourselves from what-we-think-we-need-to-do-to-survive/manage/cope/win. We have to stop following what everyone else is doing… and even stop rebelling (which has its own limitations).
When we start to let go, and get present, we then can start to find who we really are.
At least, that’s my 2 cents. What’s yours? Comment below!
(And if you haven’t yet, join me on The Authentic Entrepreneur Speaker Series!)
There is a door. Large, heavy, even foreboding. Impenetrable. Many have tried to enter; only a few have been able to master the door’s secrets. Yet the solution is simple: those who have passed through have each possessed the key.
The key looks neither unusual nor uncommon. It is simply a key. And opening the door is not complex – but it cannot happen without the key.
When someone desires to open the door, they have a task: they must copy the key. And so they go off to the locksmith, who provides many choices of keys. They vary in shape, size, color… some even have writing on them, “Do Not Duplicate.” In the end, no matter the appearance, they will all be used the same way: to open.
The look of the key doesn’t open the door. It’s the skill of the locksmith who crafts they key. All start out blank, an open possibility.
We cannot blame anyone else when we cannot open the door. Because our hands are the ones that shape our keys. Many paths lay open to us, and while the keys look different, there is only one door.
Generally, it is easier to shape our keys after someone else’s. There is no shame in that; others are quite happy to help. We can choose to do it all by ourselves – but it may take much longer.
We are the key.
And we are the door.
Let’s face it: the holidays are never exactly what we wished for. Whether you grew up with Leave it to Beaver, The Cosby Show, or other sitcoms, that’s just not what life is really like. People disappoint us, we frustrate ourselves, and it all shows up in neon colors over the holidays.
Yet, we often forget that we play an important role here. We can choose to consciously change our lives and our relationships. It takes both time and courage to approach friends and family that have difficult patterns, and state our needs and vision for what we want. Whatever has happened during the holidays that doesn’t match up with what you wished for, use this as fuel for creating intentions for the upcoming year. How would you like to consciously shape your participation in 2012?
Action: If you are having a hard time with a relative, friend, or even yourself, approach with kindness. Focus on what you want, rather than on the pain of the past, and move forward together.
Ahhhh, procrastination. It’s so easy to put things off – just…a little… more. Soon. It’ll happen. Right?
But of course there’s a deeper reason why it’s not happening. Very possibly fear. Fear of failure. Of being rejected. Of doing such a bad job that the ground opens up and swallows us whole. Hey, it could happen.
But it probably won’t. In fact, the only true failure is not doing anything at all.
Action: Whatever you need to do – whether it’s a phone call or a new project, or even exercise – do it badly. Just try it. You’ll learn from the experience, and the next time will be better.
*So what’s Real power?*
…Real power emanates from within.
…Speaking with power means standing in your truth – and declaring it to the world.
…True power means that you are as present to your own personal experience, as you are to the person or audience to whom you are speaking. You don’t give yourself away.
…And, most importantly…
True power is deeply connected to living and expressing your life purpose.
Which, right now, others desperately need to hear.
I don’t know if you’ve felt it, but things are accelerating. So many people, including myself, are being asked to make sure our work in the world is truly in alignment with our real selves.
This is why my work has taken new shape. My coaching and workshops have always derived from combining public speaking and theater methods with self-development tools and business savvy… but I used to be afraid to declare it, wondering if the performers I coach would get put off by the business emphasis, or feeling unsure about how entrepreneurs and professionals would react to this deeper approach. But by doing so, I’m speaking the true power of what I do… and the reaction has been amazing, validating my highest purpose.
… And the same can go for you.
Are you ready to speak the real truth?
I’ve been really interested for the past several months with the idea of “power.” It’s rife with misunderstandings and negative connotations… and so much potential. For some, power equates to “power over” – where one person must win out over others. As the media, both alternative and mainstream, regularly depicts both abuses and atrocities by those who possess power, this is of course a common misunderstanding, But it’s not true power.
True power does not arise from oppressing others or through fights. Speaking with power does not mean anyone else is being diminished or controlled. And it doesn’t mean that you have to Push to make your Point. It also does not mean you are trying to influence or control others – or please them.
Next: the real deal.
If you are making a difference in the world, it can be hard to be humble, and live with humility. Keep in mind that this does not mean being “humiliated,” but to live graciously and without trying to prove yourself with a big ego. Here are three easy ways:
- Put things in perspective. No matter what, there is always someone doing things much bigger than you are doing. And, there are many people suffering, who would consider you their idol. Sound like a good middle ground?
- Turn it over to Divine Source. You are here to serve and help others. It is your privilege to do so in your own unique way. Know that you have been given gifts, and exercise them with heartfelt love.
- Do menial labor. What? Am I serious? You bet. If you think you’re so great, try out a task that pays minimum wage. Chances are, you’ll find out that someone earning very little is very likely working very hard. For all that you do, remember that others are in need. Help them – when you’re in their debt, pay more than necessary and overtip waiters.
How’s that sound?
Remember – if you want to be humble and also empowered, just remember – it’s not all about you.
How can we be both powerful and humble? Where does humility play a role within empowerment?
If we are in our power, and fully stand in the truth of what we are here to do on this planet and in our own communities, we simply need to do our work. When we try to be powerful, we effort from the ego. That is not true power. Real powerful is effortless.
In the Law of Attraction, it’s essential to know you are deserving of what you visualize – that you are worthy. Don’t confuse worthiness with being humble.
Humility comes more around receiving what we have visualized – and, in my book, the bigger the gift, the more humble we should be. To know that we are truly worthy of something wonderful is to let go of the ego.
And… don’t try so much.
Trying hard to create results means trying to force results. And that’s just not how the world works – or, not without repercussions. If you try to force someone to do something, they may do it, but it’ll fly back in your face sooner or later.
Action: Relax into your power. Be thankful for all you have received, and all that is coming your way… whether or not you can see it.
Next: 3 ways to stay humble.
I more often talk about empowerment, and how we need to step into our power. What goes along with it as its important sidekick is humility.
It’s too easy for power to bring hubris. Many amazing people are so afraid to really be powerful – because so may strong figures in current and past world history have also been dominating and abusive. And many people suffered through difficult childhood experiences – and then have walked in the world as the mild-mannered counterpart of their true self, which is waiting to be powerful and strong.
Yes, we must be powerful – to live our soul’s purpose in the world is to live our full truth.
The secret? Don’t try to be powerful. Just be true to yourself.
Part 2: Don’t try so hard – and keep perspective.
Do you dwell in inaction, afraid of making mistakes or “not doing it right?” Waiting to have all the right answers before you move forward? Want to see what others do first, and then make your move?
I have news for you: if this is you, you’re missing out. A client of mine today was telling me about attending a networking event last week where he didn’t make any contacts to find potential clients, and felt like it had been a waste of time. I informed him that the opposite was true: it was a success, because he took action. He actually went out and tried something! He got practice at networking, and the next time it’ll be easier.
The biggest way to hold yourself back is simply by not trying. So do yourself a favor: take imperfect action.
Action: Today, make a big mistake. Or, at least risk it. And reward yourself for doing something new.