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Posts Tagged ‘perfection

Happy Self-Love Day!

Valentine’s Day brings up so much baggage. It was created by Hallmark to sell greeting cards. And it leaves single people feeling alone and insufficient, and often causes couples to try to measure up to a mythical standard.

So how about we recontextualize this day… as a time when we learn to have more compassion and acceptance of ourselves? Even… self-love?

It breaks my heart when I hear people say that they can have some more compassion toward themselves, but that loving themselves is almost out of the question.

This is also really important professionally: in my opinion, half of what makes a confident, effective speaker is self-love. And it’s most of what makes a genuinely happy person, too.

A few tips:

Know that there’s no such thing as being perfect.

People will love you more when you give yourself permission to be ALL of you.

When you embrace yourself as an ever-evolving, imperfect human, you give others permission to be themselves, too.

So give yourself a break. Today, my wish is that we each spend time to appreciate ourselves, our foibles, our humanity, and our gifts. May we all be gentle and sweet with ourselves.



Whether it’s a social event, mixer, a business meeting or a date, one thing often stands in the way: fear of connection. Now, of course we want to connect. But along with that comes fear of rejection. Fear of being judged. And a very awake inner critic that is perfectly happy to spend the entire time (and hours later) to tell us over and over how imperfect we are and can’t do anything right.

When I coach my clients and teach workshops, I emphasize a few things to help with this.

  1. Everyone wants you to be great. Truly. Even pessimistic people want to be inspired – they just need to have their faith reawakened.
  2. You don’t have to be perfect! Really. Perfection isn’t real, and those models in the magazine are airbrushed. They have warts too – it’s called being human.
  3. Not everyone needs to love you. Look for where there is connection and a spark of interest (on whatever level). Pursue it. And if it’s not there, just Move On to that next person who’s waiting – just for you.

Action: Today, try to connect more deeply with those around you.

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