Posts Tagged ‘shame’
how to love yourself more (part 2)
Posted by: Jonathan Bender on: February 9, 2011
Try these exercises. And please – comment below and report what you find useful.
- Think back to when you were young(er). Remember how you handled a particular situation – perhaps conflict, or relationships. Then reflect on how you handle them now. Appreciate how you’ve grown.
- Close your eyes, and take deep breaths into the core of your body. Visualize breathing into the very core of your being. Still with your eyes closed, reach out and pat your feet. Keep patting all the way up to your head. Feel your solidity as if for the first time, while continuing to breathe into your body. Appreciate your solidity.
- Think of someone you recently helped or made smile. Imagine what might have happened if you weren’t there; reflect on when you’ve been positively impacting people.
- If someone else said something horribly mean to us, we’d likely get quite angry – but we talk to ourselves that way! When you do something that causes the irascible inner critic to surface, try telling her/him, “This is part of being human. I’m a human being, and this is part of learning and growing.”
These are just a few ideas to try; keep your eyes out for more here. However, they can’t just be done once. In order to cultivate greater love, they need to become regular practices that replace our negative patterns. So write them down or print this out – and keep doing them. And see what happens.
how to love yourself more (part 1)
Posted by: Jonathan Bender on: February 8, 2011
Now, this might be off-base, but I’m going to take a wild guess that you don’t love and appreciate yourself enough.
Signs that may indicate this:
- you have an active inner critic
- you sometimes feel shame or embarrassment
- you’re concerned about getting others’ approval
- you have fear with public speaking or maybe with what people might think of you in general
Does any of this feel familiar? It should – most people experience one, two, or all of these. So – if we’re all going through this? What does it mean?
That we all want to be loved. That we’re all afraid of rejection. And that we need help to feel solid and secure unto ourselves.
In the next posting, we’ll explore specific ideas on how to truly love and accept yourself even more.